Self-Helpless

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING GUIDE, WITH UPDATED MATERIAL AND A NEW FOREWORD

If you graduated from college but still feel like a student . . . if you wear a business suit to job interviews but pajamas to the grocery store . . . if you have your own apartment but no idea how to cook or clean . . . it's OK. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Just because you don't feel like an adult doesn't mean you can't act like one. And it all begins with this funny, wise, and useful book. Based on Kelly Williams Brown's popular blog, ADULTING, makes the scary, confusing "real world" approachable, manageable--and even conquerable. This guide will help you to navigate the stormy Sea of Adulthood so that you may find safe harbor in Not Running Out of Toilet Paper Bay, and along the way you will learn:
What to check for when renting a new apartment--not just the nearby bars, but the faucets and stove, among other things. When a busy person can find time to learn more about the world (It involves the intersection of NPR and hair-straightening.) How to avoid hooking up with anyone in your office--iImagine your coworkers having plastic, featureless doll crotches. It helps. The secret to finding a mechanic you love--or, more realistically, one that will not rob you blind.
From breaking up with frenemies to fixing your toilet, this way fun comprehensive handbook is the answer for aspiring grown-ups of all ages.

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An indispensable survival manual for guys entering the trenches of fatherhood, Be Prepared is loaded with one-of-a-kind insights, MacGyver-esque tips and tricks, and no-nonsense advice for mastering the first year as a dad.

Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to:

-Change a baby at a packed sports stadium
-Create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear
-Stay awake (or at least upright) at work
-Babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat
-Construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape

Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere.

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A humorous "guide to life" for grown-ups! One day, Diane Muldrow, a longtime editor of the iconic Little Golden Books, realized that, despite their whimsical appearance, there was hardly a real-life situation that hadn't been covered in the more than 70-year-old line of children's books--from managing money, to the importance of exercise, to finding contentment in the simplest things. In this age of debt, depression, and diabetes, could we adults use a refresher course in the gentle lessons from these adorable books, she wondered--a "Little Golden guide to life"? Yes, we could! Muldrow's humorous yet practical tips for getting the most out of life ("Don't forget to enjoy your wedding!" "Be a hugger." "Sweatpants are bad for morale."), drawn from more than 60 stories, are paired with delightful images from these best-loved children's books of all time--among them The Poky Little Puppy, Pantaloon, Mister Dog, Nurse Nancy, We Help Mommy, Five Pennies to Spend, and The Little Red Hen. The Golden greats of children's illustration are represented here as well: Richard Scarry, Garth Williams, Eloise Wilkin, J. P. Miller, and Mary Blair, among many others. Sure to bring memories and a smile, this book is a perfect gift for baby boomers, recent grads, lovers of children's literature--or anyone who cherishes the sturdy little books with the shiny cardboard covers and gold foil spines!

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Provides a straight-talking, humorous, and helpful guide to shedding self-doubt and finding one's own path to success.

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An honest, funny, neurotic, and totally gross love child of Mindy Kaling and Mary Roach.

Mara Altman's volatile and apprehensive relationship with her body has led her to wonder about a lot of stuff over the years. Like, who decided that women shouldn't have body hair? And how sweaty is too sweaty? Also, why is breast cleavage sexy but camel toe revolting? Isn't it all just cleavage? These questions and others like them have led to the comforting and sometimes smelly revelations that constitute Gross Anatomy , an essay collection about what it's like to operate the bags of meat we call our bodies.

Divided into two sections, "The Top Half" and "The Bottom Half," with cartoons scattered throughout, Altman's book takes the reader on a wild and relatable journey from head to toe--as she attempts to strike up a peace accord with our grody bits.

With a combination of personal anecdotes and fascinating research, Gross Anatomy holds up a magnifying glass to our beliefs, practices, biases, and body parts and shows us the naked truth: that there is greatness in our grossness.

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A hilarious and heartwarming rampage through the world of self-care

Marianne Power was a self-help junkie. For years she lined her bookshelves with dog-eared copies of definitive guide after definitive guide on how to live your best life. Yet one day she woke up to find that the life she dreamed of and the life she was living were not miles but continents apart. So she set out to make a change. Or, actually, to make every change.

Marianne decided to finally find out if her elusive perfect life--the one without debt, anxiety, hangovers or Netflix marathons, the one where she healthily bounced around town with perfect teeth to meet the cashmere-sweater-wearing man of her dreams--lay in the pages of those books. So for a year she vowed to test a book a month, following its advice to the letter, taking the surest road she knew to a perfect Marianne.

As her year-long plan turned into a demented roller coaster where everything she knew was turned upside down, she found herself confronted with a different question: Self-help can change your life, but is it for the better?

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"Most colleges provide a pile of orientation materials, but they're basically useless. Feel free to throw all that away. This guide from the writers and editors of The Stranger has the information you will actually need that no one else will tell you--for college and for the rest of your existence--including- which majors to avoid, how to not get a STD, everything there is to know about philosophy (in a single paragraph!), what the music you like says about you, how to turn a crush into something more, how to come out (should you happen to be gay), how to binge drink and not die, how do laundry, how to do drugs (and which ones you should never do), good manners, tips on flirting with film nerds, how to write a great sentence, and a state-by-state guide to the U.S. of A. It's all here, along with Dan Savage's very best advice about sex and love. Hi!"

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*Now a  New York Times Love and Relationships bestseller*

For readers of Cheryl Strayed and Anne Lamott, a  collection of brand new, impassioned, and inspiring letters by the author of the popular advice column Ask Polly, featured weekly on New York Magazine's  The Cut

Should you quit your day job to follow your dreams? How do you rein in an overbearing mother? Will you ever stop dating wishy-washy, noncommittal guys? Should you put off having a baby for your career? 

Heather Havrilesky, the author of the weekly advice column Ask Polly, featured in New York magazine's The Cut, is here to guide you through the "what if's" and "I don't knows" of modern life with the signature wisdom and tough love her readers have come to expect. 

How to Be a Person in the World is a collection of never-before-published material along with a few fan favorites. Whether she's responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you're not alone.

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"From the creator of The Good Place and the co-creator of Parks and Recreation, a hilarious, thought-provoking guide to living an ethical life, drawing on 2,500 years of deep thinking from around the world"-- Provided by publisher.

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So how do you flip your mind from a negative spiral into realistic hope? How do you stop focusing on the why and realise that why not me is just as valid a pathway? How we learn to respond to any given situation empowers us or destroys us. We have the ability in our mind to dictate the outcome - bad or good - and with the right skills and approach, we can be the master of it. This book will show you how. It will awaken you to question your life as if you didn't have tomorrow and live it in the way you want to today. It will show you how to build a growth mindset and through this invite you to think about what you could do if you believed you could change and do anything you want.

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Sit around, leave sh*t all over the place, drink, forget about deadlines . . . being lazy is pretty easy. The real art in being chill is when someone without any real ambition can fly under the radar, and live unscathed by the never-ending reams of self-help and inspiration rained upon anyone who just wants to watch Netflix. The magical place where doing what comes naturally keeps the do-ers at arm's length. Rather than doing less, do just enough. So screw TED Talks, Instagram images of a beach that say "Fail Better" in gold cursive, marathon training, tips for keeping plants alive, and all self-aggrandizing social media. Ninety-nine percent of people on this planet are just pretty average. We're doing our thing. Trying to get out of bed in the morning. Hey, are you awake right now? Reading a sentence? You know what? That's success in my book. Being a person is hard enough without all the pressure to be good at it.

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Are you stressed out, feel like you're in a creative rut, or are having trouble taming your inner control freak? Welcome to THE LAZY GURU'S GUIDE TO LIFE, an innovative, inspiring, and illustrated guide to effortless and mindful self-improvement.

The concept of being lazy goes back thousands of years. It's what the Chinese sages call Wu Wei or "no trying," a natural way of being--a flow state--where the body is relaxed and attention is focused. So if your world seems like it's spinning too fast and can't be stopped, the Lazy Guru is here to show you how anyone can be effortlessly creative and return themselves to flow without years of meditation or therapy. Through a series of games and activities, Shorter provides readers with practical problem-solving skills; down-to-earth means for restoring inspiration, relaxation and creativity; and, above all else, peace of mind.

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THE "GENIUS" ( Cosmopolitan ) NATIONAL BESTSELLER ON THE ART OF CARING LESS AND GETTING MORE--FROM THE AUTHOR OF GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER AND YOU DO YOU
Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It's time to stop giving a f*ck.

This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo's bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt--and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy.

The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about:
Family drama Having a "bikini body" Iceland Co-workers' opinions, pets, and children And other bullsh*t! And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!

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The Wall Street Journal 's popular columnist Jason Gay delivers a hilarious and heartfelt guide to modern living.

" The book you hold in your hand is a rule book. There have been rule books before--stacks upon stacks of them--but this book is unlike any other rule book you have ever read. It will not make you rich in twenty-four hours, or even seventy-two hours. It will not cause you to lose eighty pounds in a week. This book has no abdominal exercises. I have been doing abdominal exercises for most of my adult life, and my abdomen looks like it's always looked. It looks like flan. Syrupy flan. So we can just limit those expectations. This book does not offer a crash diet or a plan for maximizing your best self. I don't know a thing about your best self. It may be embarrassing. Your best self might be sprinkling peanut M&M's onto rest-stop pizza as we speak. I cannot promise that this book is a road map to success. And we should probably set aside the goal of total happiness. There's no such thing.

I would, however, like for it to make you laugh. Maybe think. I believe it is possible to find, at any age, a new appreciation for what you have--and what you don't have--as well as for the people closest to you. There's a way to experience life that does not involve a phone, a tablet, a television screen. There's also a way to experience life that does not involve eating seafood at the airport, because you should really never eat seafood at the airport.

Like the title says, I want us all to achieve little victories. I believe that happiness is derived less from a significant single accomplishment than it is from a series of successful daily maneuvers. Maybe it's the way you feel when you walk out the door after drinking six cups of coffee, or surviving a family vacation, or playing the rowdy family Thanksgiving touch football game, or just learning to embrace that music at the gym. Accomplishments do not have to be large to be meaningful. I think little victories are the most important ones in life."

-- From the Introduction 

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From the Twitter account @ManWhoHasItAll, a hilariously unforgiving and eye-opening role reversal parody of self-help guides for the working mother.
While women have long been bombarded with advice about how to be the perfect mom, keep a perfect job, and have glowing skin--all at the same time--men have been left floundering. Can you be a dad and still feel sexy? Can curvy men truly be happy? Can men be funny?
Finally, The Man Who Has It All! , drawn from the hugely popular satirical Twitter and Facebook accounts, is the first trailblazing guide that "empowers" men and shows them how they, too, can have it all! Providing gendered tips for career men and busy working dads on how to juggle fatherhood and still have a career--while maintaining the perfect bod-- The Man Who Has It All isn't afraid to address the big questions. Within these pages, learn:
What his face shape says about his parenting skills How to express his opinion without coming off as bossy Why staying hydrated will improve his career prospects How he can stop feeling guilty about everything How he should prioritize "me-time" How he can ask for help
Uproarious, scathing, unsettling, and revealing, The Man Who Has It All seizes the established sexist narratives and double standards women have heard too often in self-help books and magazines, and subverts them with a fiercely ironic feminist twist by speaking to an imaginary male audience --with hilarious and revolutionary results.

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A Self-Help Spoof for the Life Impaired

Right here in this book store, you can find hundreds of them -- self-help books. They tell you how to improve your finances, lose weight, age gracefully, and influence people. But even after reading all those books, you're still a mess. It can only mean one thing: maybe life's just not that into you.

Once you open you mind to this possibility, you can quit beating yourself up. It's all about attitude. It's about the find art of whining. It's about losing your shirt, but keeping your dignity. It's about being dull and boring, but making it work for you. It's about losing friends and influencing nobody. It's about just saying no to dieting because, well, let's be honest, carbs just taste good.

A hilarious, good-natured spoof on more that fifty self-help books, this book will leave you feeling better about who you are and laughing your way to becoming the person God created you to be.

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How should an atheist respond to a sneeze? In an argument, how do you kick ass when you don’t have a leg to stand on? After years of exploring the small pockets in life’s backpack in his celebrated weekend Guardian“How to...” column, Guy Browning has become the authority on such matters. The runaway #1 British Bestseller Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spadeoffers intelligent, practical advice on the level you need it, the trivial level: o How to evaluate a bottle of wine (if the alcohol content is less than 15 percent, send it straight back) o How to get what you want at the barber’s (no multipart instructions, please) o How to stay warm in bed (when your partner has cold feet and steals the covers) o How to be a fashionista (when your twenty-year-old wardrobe is suddenly back in vogue) o How to pretend to laugh at a friend’s joke (the closest most men get to faking orgasm) o How to fix a computer (If restarting it doesn’t work, turn it off and go back to a pre- industrial lifestyle.) Covering cooking and eating, sleeping and waking, men and women, love and marriage, religion and politics, hedges and neighbors, Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spadedelivers the truth about the things that really matter. With a package as fun as its contents, it’s the ideal gift for anyone who wants to live life with a sense of humor.

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When it comes to bad news, we've never had it so good. Laurence Shorter is feeling anxious. Every time he opens a newspaper or turns on the radio he finds another reason to be tearful. It's time to make a change. It's time to be optimistic His plan is simple: 1. Learn how to jump out of bed in the morning. 2. Secure personal happiness. 3. Save the world. The Optimist charts Shorter's ambitious, year-long, international quest to seek out the world's most positive thinkers, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Jung Chang, Matthieu Ricard, California's renowned Surfing Rabbi, and Bill Clinton. But optimism doesn't come easy, and Shorter's resolve is tested at every corner: by a flagging career, a troubled love affair, and his ever-pessimistic dad. The Optimist is a hilarious and ultimately life-affirming stand against the grind of everyday strife, packed with reasons to be cheerful.

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Danes have hygge. Swedes have lagom. But the Finns have the best - "kalsariokanni" or pantsdrunk - drinking at home, alone, in your underwear.

When it comes to happiness rankings, Finland always scores near the top. Many Finnish phenomena set the bar high: the best education system, gender equality, a flourishing welfare state, sisu or bull-headed pluck. Behind all of these accomplishments lies a Finnish ability to stay calm, healthy and content in a riptide of endless tasks and temptations. The ability comes from the practice of "kalsarikanni" translated as pantsdrunk.

Peel off your clothes down to your underwear. Place savory or sweet snacks within reach alongside your bed or sofa. Make sure your television remote control is nearby along with any and all devices to access social media. Open your preferred alcohol. Your journey toward inner strength, higher quality of life, and peace of mind has begun.

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Everyone fantasises about the idiots they encounter on a daily basis getting their comeuppance; this book reassures readers that they are not alone in thinking mean thoughts about people - most of whom they don't even know. From the 'incessant Facebook updater' to the 'supermarket cheque writer' to guys who wear too much cologne, People Who Deserve It features 100 hiliariously irritating character types. Featuring a historical timeline of infamous people who deserve it, this book will resonate with readers who want to explore their anti-social tendencies.

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In the pre-pandemic world, North Americans were exhausted, lonely, unhappy, wildly overworked and overbooked, drowning in sea of constantly being on the go and needing to buy more. But when that pressure disappeared, people rediscovered what was important to them. Julio Gambuto knew that it likely wouldn't last. Gambuto gives us a radical blueprint for the ways we can take a deep breath, renew, and commit to a life that we really want. Infused with the practical advice, this book helps us focus on where we find joy in our lives and encourages us to toss out what doesn't bring us joy in this modern world.

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Little fixes for life's BIG faux pas

Figuring out which salad fork to use is a relative no-brainer, but what's the protocol for using a lockless bathroom or getting caught regifting?
Saving Face daringly examines dozens of our worst-case social scenarios. Using helpful illustrations and a "toolbox" of general techniques and technologies, you'll learn what to do if caught:

Arriving without a gift Forgetting a name Being served horrible food Starting or ending a workplace romance Sitting next to your boss on a plane Mistakenly thinking someone's coming on to you Clogging someone else's toilet Getting rid of guests Leaving a bad phone message

From the office to the dining room to the appearance of freeloading cousins at your doorstep, you'll confidently turn snafus into saves and finesse those social situations once destined for disaster.

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#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 3 million copies sold

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let's be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn't sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is--a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let's-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.

Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited--"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

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"Laura Belgray is often introduced on podcasts as "one of the funniest people I know," and her journey offers a lot of hope to anyone who feels like they haven't quite figured out what they want to do in life. She grew up in grungy New York City when Studio 54 still existed but was no longer cool, doing really cringe-y things to fit in but those things were, more often than not, ill-conceived and humiliating. We're constantly told that we're supposed to live our purpose, dare greatly, attract the life we want, wash our face. But let's face it: we're all tired of shame spiraling about being told what to do when we know we're not going to do that. What does a different path to success look like if you say tough titties to society's expectations? What if you are lazy, desperately approval-seeking, make poor romantic choices, and are chronically stuck? As Laura shows through her own unconventional path to success and happiness, you can live your best life... even if you're the f-ing worst. Beyond being very funny, this book gives readers permission to be themselves -and to feel better about themselves -- by sharing Laura's own often embarrassing and awkward coming of age stories as a very late bloomer. It isn't "self help" or even "anti-self help" nor is it a whiny book. It's how to be more of yourself through reassuring "I've been there" stories. As the founder of her own marketing and content company, Talking Shrimp, Laura knows how to get media attention and promote herself and will use the same marketing capabilities that she used to build her one woman company and apply them to selling her book. She will engage her dedicated and growing following of 55K+ on Instagram and 23K+ newsletter subscribers who love her snarky, brutally honest personal development content."-- Provided by publisher.

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